Julie Sun Hee Eshelman, Conference Marketing and Communications co-chair

I was born as Yoon Sun Hee in Kang Won Do, South Korea and was given up for adoption in 1979.  While most babies at this age are learning to walk, talk and bond with the families that brought them into this world, I was learning to walk, talk and bond as Julie Sun Hee Eshelman with the family that had adopted me here in good old Massachusetts.  I am not Jewish (although the Hillel House at Umass Amherst would probably disagree).

In life, there are the journeys that present themselves to us, and then there are the journeys that we choose.  The journeys that present themselves to us make us stronger, build character and help shape who we’ve become today.  However, I strongly believe it’s the journeys that we choose that show us just how strong we’ve become, allowing us to reveal our characters, and more importantly overcome our biggest obstacles… ourselves.  I’ve been told that as a baby in the orphanage, I was very quiet and withdrawn and didn’t take easily to strangers. My friends and family that know me well would probably never use these words to describe me now, however, these personality traits have been a shadow throughout my life, and become a source of frustration for me in situations when I can become painfully shy.  The realization that I can still sometimes feel like that little girl in the orphanage even at the ripe age of 33, is what finally led me to the decision to do something this year that would challenge me to change.

I will admit that I initially joined the Marketing & Communications team for ASPIRE’s 2011 Asian American Women in Leadership Conference in order to check volunteer work off of my ‘to do’ list for 2011.  I had no expectations of what I would gain from this journey.  My only knowledge of this Boston-based non-profit organization was that I would be investing some of my time and energy into planning their annual conference dedicated to developing career and leadership skills for Asian American girls and women.

What I have learned from this experience is that in order to further promote the inspiring message of this organization, I would need to develop and fine tune my own leadership skills, so I could begin practicing what we were intending to teach.  I began to think outside the box in terms of my own self-image and stopped hesitating so much before letting my voice out.  It’s given me a sense of pride that I remember feeling as a child; like the rush you get after getting your driver’s license and driving alone for the first time in the car.  I realized that ‘rush’ had been a missing piece in my life as I grew older.

What started out as a chance to promote ASPIRE’s upcoming conference this November, has ended up becoming an incredible support system on my own personal journey.  I’m proud to say it has given me the opportunity to meet a great group of women that I can add to my corner of family and friends.  Hope we can help you with your journey.  Make time to reinvent yourself.

For more information about the 2011 Asian American Women in Leadership Conference click here: http://girlsaspire.org/2011conference/

ASPIRE and the Speaker Series committee thank the three speakers for openly sharing their stories and the attendees for their time to join us! The committee is planning the next event to be held sometime in the fall and looks forward to seeing you all again! Please come back to our website for future information!

Photos by Sandra Kim

Szeman Tse (ASPIRE), Kozue Sawame (ASPIRE), Van Nguyen (ASPIRE), Suzanne Lee, Lisa Wong, Diana Hwang, and Anh Nguyen (ASPIRE)

They had wanted to embody and empower the voices of Asian American youth and women. Having shared a space for connecting, sharing stories, and building supportive relationships, they boldly shared the stories of their personal journeys. Published below are random samples of personal reflections performed by two YLP girls.

Jiamin

My name is Jiamin and I am Asian. It’s pretty obvious. So what kind of labels did you just put on me? Math-genius? Quiet? Obedient? Play an instrument? Middle class? Problem free? Or that I eat rice everyday? Quit making these assumptions!

Let me tell you something. I am none of the above. I am a struggling Asian. I am definitely not an overachiever in school–worst of all, I am having problems in pre-calculus! Yes, you heard it right. Math class! Ugh. How sad!

Anyways, you see everyone thinks that Asians have no problems, like we are ALL getting the good grades, the good jobs, the good food and all. But that’s not true! We have struggles too, but no one is recognizing this.

Like most Asian immigrant parents, my dad works in a restaurant. He wakes up at 8 in the morning to get carpooled to work and he won’t get home until 11:30 at night. I don’t even see him that much on the weekdays either. You see, he’s trying hard to provide for his family. This is very typical among Asian families.

And the place that I work, I see Chinese moms struggling to teach their children homework; I see them having a difficult time understanding that English letter sent by the government with absolutely no translation. I see them struggling to learn English, so they could assimilate to be more “American” and more acceptable in society.

Why is this happening? Why are we labeled as the “model minority” while we, Asians, are still struggling in some unspeakable ways? Of course, many of our fellow Asians have accomplished great success. But you see there are many us out there who need help. When every other race thinks that Asians have no problems, that’s a big problem! We are not getting the resources that we need. We are not being recognized nor are we heard by society. When we are not heard, we are left to struggle in silence.

Linda

There was a time in my life in which I abhorred myself. I didn’t like the way I looked, the way I dressed and the slight immobility of my tongue that was a result of my being raised speaking Chinese. The TV told me to choose pink as a favorite color. It also gave me false hope that one day I could be that pristine, porcelain princess that Disney idealized.

As I got older, many problems kept stunting my transformation into Disney’s perfect image. I felt that I had grossly high cheekbones, lack of eyebrow bones, and didn’t possess anything that remotely resembled what mainstream society considered a bombshell body. Worse yet, I thought that I had sickly skin and crooked eyes that made indoors seem like a sunny place. As an Asian American I had struggled with low self-esteem through my preteen and early teenage years.

I chose to ignore my ethnicity for the main part. I strayed from discussions in school that involved my classmates’ different cultures at home. I continued yearning to be another girl—another person entirely. I dressed in hopelessly tight jeans in vain and wished that my body was just as well endowed as the women in the movies.

My Un-American, hard to pronounce middle name, Gar-yi, embarrassed me more than anything.

Ultimately, I came to a revelation that my physical appearance had little to do with my overall happiness and health. With help from supportive friends I learned that it wasn’t everyone else that forced their expectations upon me, but rather it was my acceptance of established stereotypes and ideals. I was only viewing the world through the tiny, distorted fish-eyed lens that only I could have put on.

I’m a prouder girl now. I’ve finally learned that my middle name wasn’t meant to embarrass me. Rather, my mom told me not to forget that she had given me my middle name to remind me that although we were halfway around the world from China, I would be Chinese no matter what. There was no way to escape this reality and there was absolutely no need to. I embrace this fact whole-heartedly because it is my identity.

Whether or not people like it, I’m Asian and I’m beautiful. I’ll never forget again. I promise, Mom.

Heang and some YLP girls

By Heang Ly, YLP Director

This year I had the pleasure of bringing together eleven very diverse high school Asian American girls from the greater Boston area through ASPIRE’s Youth Leadership Program. The goal of YLP is to create and strengthen our identity as Asian American young women through building confidence, creating space for self-reflection and exploration, and fostering a strong Asian American sisterhood. This year’s programming centered on the theme of defining Asian American womanhood through the eyes of society, media, family, and self.

This year’s sessions were designed to be interactive and challenge the young women to express themselves through a variety of artistic expressions that pushed everyone out of their comfort zone. Interactive activities were built around dialogue and experiences to engage girls in expressing, sharing, and challenging each other and their own thoughts about identity. They practiced communication, public speaking, facilitation, acting, creative writing, and storytelling to create an atmosphere of co-learning.

Bright faces of YLP

There are many highlights from the year. For example, the Sticky Rice Project, an anti-racism training group out of the Asian American Resource Workshop (AARW), presented a workshop on Asian American women’s history in America and its effects on stereotypes that exist today. The girls took out their musical talents and drummed out their personalities through drumsticks with Genki Spark, an Asian American women’s Taiko drumming group. Through kickboxing we learned how important it was not just to keep our minds strong, but our bodies strong, too. We understood that we need to take care of both our mental and physical health in order to be our best.

At the end of our program in May, the girls took their experiences and brought it to the public. They developed artistic pieces to present their personal narratives in a final showcase to the community in the event called Project ASPIRE: Hidden Truths Unleashed.  The showcase engaged community members of all races, gender, and ages in thinking more about experiences of young Asian American girls. Stories spoke about finding voice, the model minority myth, lack of Asian American history in the schools and so much more. The night celebrated all of our struggles, successes, and honored women and youth who are leaders.

Although all YLP participants came from varying backgrounds and personalities, they learned to build friendship, trust, and a sisterhood through these differences.  Their shared stories and experiences bind them together to create a needed support system for each other that they will bring with them beyond the program. Eight of the eleven girls will be moving on from the Youth Leadership program at the end of the year to attend college. We wish them luck at Stanford, Umass Dartmouth, Boston University, and Dartmouth College. In their new environment we know they will always remember to hold their head up high, celebrate their identity, speak up, and continue to defy stereotypes and bust out of the boxes that society puts them in.

The ASPIRE Speakers Series committee is looking for a long-term volunteer to join our four-person team and assist us in event planning, coordination, and marketing. The next event will be held in late July with three more to follow in October 2011, January 2012 and April.

Please email a brief cover letter describing your past experience in event planning and your resume to Van Nguyen at van@girlsaspire.org.

If interested, please contact Qingjian Shi, at Qingjian@girlsaspire.org.

The Lobit sisters

By Athena and Alyssa Lobit, Guest Bloggers

THE THINGS WE CARRY is an award-winning film about two sisters who reconnect after the death of their drug-addicted mother. The Lobit Sisters—Actress and Writer Alyssa and Producer Athena—made their feature debut with this drama. Inspired by their personal story, the film explores family dynamics, drug addiction and personal choices.

The Lobit sisters are of mixed ethnic heritage: their mother is Korean and the father is Caucasian. Their experience interacting with the Asian American film community on the festival circuit inspired them to examine the impact of their ethnic background on the film and their roles as filmmakers. Alyssa and Athena came up with three questions for each other to open up the conversation on what it means to be an Asian American filmmaker. Here’s what they had to say.

Athena: Do you identify with being (considered?) an Asian American filmmaker?  (Why? Why not?)

Alyssa: It wasn’t until The Things We Carry played at Asian American film festivals that I identified with the AA filmmaking community, and even then, sometimes I felt like an impostor. But it’s been great to be welcomed into the community and I’m grateful for the warm reception.

Athena: How has your ethnic background shaped your experience in the entertainment industry?

Alyssa: I grew up always feeling “mixed” or “other”, or not thinking about it at all. My experience in the entertainment industry has brought my ethnicity into sharp focus… which was not always easy to deal with or make sense of. In Hollywood, I have been considered Asian, because Caucasian and Asian were mutually exclusive labels or types. Thankfully, these days, there are a few new categories, such as Mixed, Multi-Ethnic and Any Ethnicity. Being told I was “Asian” was very weird for a girl from the San Fernando Valley with a college education, who had little connection with the roles I’d be seen for, which included a Chinese village-girl who spoke broken English. It has been an interesting road, defining myself in an industry that, out of necessity or laziness, can be described as racist, or race-aware, at the very least. This  race-confusion extended into my experience with the Asian American film community, as well. Hollywood called these people “Asian American”—and they agreed. I could see this reflected in the content of their projects, their platform and their “message”. It’s strange, but I looked upon the AA community much like I did any other ethnicity-based group. Would I feel like I’m a part of the African American filmmaking community? More power to them, but no, I would not feel like I belonged to that group. Add to this, in my personal life, I wasn’t considered “Asian” by most Asian people.

Athena: Do you consider The Things We Carry an Asian American film?

Alyssa: When we made The Things We Carry, our intent was to make a good movie, not an Asian American movie. This was key for me, from both an acting and filmmaking perspective. I wanted to act in a role and tell a story where the ethnicity of the leads was not the basis for the film. I wouldn’t have an accent, I wouldn’t play any of the “types” that have generally been assigned to actors of Asian descent, and any issues of immigrant marginalization were rooted only in the mother’s character (and not a focus of the film, either). In these ways, it was distinctly not the type of film I’d seen come out of the Asian American film community. It was also not the type of film I’d seen coming from mainstream Hollywood. The support we’ve received from the Asian American community has been wonderful. We’ve also connected very deeply with other communities, people of all races and ages. Honestly, I don’t know what makes a film Asian American. Is The Things We carry a movie where the lead actors and the producing team happen to be Asian? Yes. Does the film make special effort to explain Asian culture? No. But it also doesn’t shy away from including how this shows up naturally, in small ways, such as when the sisters eat Korean food. Are the issues addressed exclusive to Asian Americans? No. So… What was the question, again? J

Alyssa: What are your thoughts on being described as an Asian American Filmmaker?

Athena: As a description I don’t mind it because it’s true!  Descriptions are oftentimes used to add distinction and can vary depending on the context.  I’m a filmmaker and I’m Asian American.

Alyssa: What makes a film “Asian American” in your opinion?

Athena: This question has come up several times with other filmmakers and it seems to be a nebulous question for many of us – What’s the definition of “Asian American film”?  What’s the criteria?  At what point has a film reached the criteria? –  Brokeback Mountain, Gran Torino and The Joy Luck Club are three films that feature Asian/Asian Americans in different capacities, both onscreen and off.  Based on the qualifications that some people have had when discussing this topic, each film would qualify as “Asian American”.  To be honest, I don’t know what makes a film “Asian American”.  In order for a film to be tagged as “Asian American” though, there has to be something that justifies the tag (Actors, Director etc) and/or the content would need to be Asian American related.  Otherwise, what justifies the tag?  Just as tags are used to describe many elements of a single item, I do believe films can feature or promote people/stories from a certain group and not be a film specifically of that group.

For example, our film qualified for several Asian/Asian American film festivals but we didn’t set out to specifically make an “Asian American” film nor do we consider it to be solely defined as such.  There are Asian American elements in that the story revolves around two half-Korean sisters and their Korean mother which then leads to some of the story’s context revolving around Asian/Asian American themes/environments, but the story itself is universal.  The supporting characters are of different ethnicities, the Director of the movie is Caucasian, etc.  (I mention the Director because the ethnicity/gender/etc. of the creatives behind making a film are oftentimes taken into consideration when classifying a film).  Some may define our film as “Asian American” while others may not.  Again, this goes back to – “What’s the definition of an “Asian American film”?  What’s the criteria?  And at what point has a film reached the criteria?”

We’ve received tremendous support from Asians and non-Asians alike and are grateful for all of the support we’ve received.  Our main goal was to tell a meaningful story with the hope of connecting with audiences.

Alyssa: What, if any, are the benefits of being an Asian American Filmmaker, as opposed to just a Filmmaker?

Athena: I believe ALL Filmmakers have opportunities they can benefit from.  As with any group or category that specializes in promoting people or work from that group/category there are certain elements a film must have in order to qualify for that platform.  For example, our film benefited from qualifying for Asian/Asian American film festivals but didn’t qualify for festivals focused on comedy or the environment or a whole slew of other platforms. The world is diverse, tastes are diverse and there are so many groups/categories that I believe there’s something for everyone.

* * *

In celebration of Asian Heritage Month, The Things We Carry can be viewed at DramaFever.com through May 2011.

TheThingsWeCarry.com

Twitter.com/TTWCMovie

Facebook.com/TheThingsWeCarryMovie

As a high school student, I could barely say a word in front of a crowd, let alone talk about the ways that stereotypes and racism affected my life as an Asian American girl.  These were things that I kept to myself, not sure of what to do with the knot of emotions that I was dealing with. 

On Saturday, I had the honor of spending my evening with an incredible group of young Asian American women.  They unleashed their thoughts, worries and experiences on us in a way that was so unapologetic, so honest and so TRUE, that for me, I left the event truly inspired and reinvigorated about what ASPIRE does and why.

Part of what stood out to me about why this event was so powerful was the connection – the young women in ASPIRE’s Youth Leadership Program come from different schools, and different backgrounds.  Yet, over the course of their time with YLP, they cleared formed a bond with each other, and with YLP’s Program Director, Heang Ly.

Their stories reflected so many different concerns – questioning our lack of awareness of Asian American history, facing stereotypes in a predominantly white high school, feeling angry about being put in to a box, and feeling caught in the middle of two cultures that feel at odds with each other.

I’m not sure if I consider these things hidden truths – I think for me, they are only hidden because they too often go unspoken.  But, on Saturday night, I heard the voices of  Asian American youth voicing these truths.  I was so touched by the conviction behind what they shared.  And I was amazed at their courage in putting their feelings in to words.

My favorite question from the interactive activities that the young women led was:

 What advice would you give to someone younger than you?

 I’m not sure what advice I’d give these young women – except to keep sharing your experiences and always know the power of your voice.

What advice do you have, or what experiences would you share with these amazing young women?

Delia on her honeymoon in Costa Rica

How long have you been involved with ASPIRE?

I have been involved with ASPIRE since 2009 when I joined the Board of Directors. My good friend Liza was the one who initially reached out to me and suggested that I get more involved with the group. Thank you, Liza!!

What are your duties at ASPIRE?

Currently, I am serving as the Chair of the Board of Directors. ASPIRE is a growing organization, and I see my role as like the gardener who helps to water, fertilize and weed a garden. I help organize our team of amazing board members and work towards building a true community within ASPIRE. I don’t really see what I do as duties, but rather as something I am called to do – because I know that Asian American women face so many unique challenges in our lives, and there are so few outlets for us to talk about our experiences.

Tell us about one of your quirks!

One of my quirks? While I am not always neat, I try very hard to stay organized. I have to be organized to try to stay on top of things. In my closet, all my shirts face in the same direction (to the left). They are arranged first by sleeve length (sleeveless to the left, then t-shirts, then long sleeves), and then by color (light to dark). For me, it’s about efficiency…. if I need a black t-shirt, I know exactly where to find it in my closet. That is, if the laundry has been done.